Somethin’s Cookin’ and It Jus’ Ain’t Right

Our oven is hardly used. I’ve never been a big baker, and other than the occasional lasagna or flatbread, I rarely cooked dinner in the oven. Now that we’ve steered away from heavier foods, it’s only used for roasting vegetables, baking a (less un-)healthy pumpkin bread, and making our baked oatmeal. I just said I was never a big baker, and then two of the three things I listed are baked goods. Anyway! As infrequently as it may be turned on, the fact that it’s now impossible to turn off is too annoying for it to remain. The last time I used it, it took over twenty-six hours to turn off, and it only shut down then because I reached my breaking point and unplugged it. Before that fateful day, it would take between six and fourteen hours to get the obnoxious thing to switch off.

It took us months to determine which Vitamix we wanted. By the way, we went with the Professional Series 750 because I’m 104 years old and apparently anti-technology. I found myself arguing against the digital panel on the Ascent series because “What if it breaks?” and “Back in my day…” and then it was time for my nap. A lot of pros and cons were weighed, we took time to think about what was important, and in the end, it was a properly informed decision when we finally made it. However, it took less than one hour for us to pick which stove we’d be buying. Because it is not ours “for keeps,” it didn’t much matter what it offered as a stove. So long as it turned on and then off again, it would beat what was here.

In most places I’ve lived, homes are rented out by owners. Here it seems the primary method of renting is through property management companies. Don’t do this if you can help it. It’s unpleasant. If we had been renting directly from the owner, we’d have informed him that the stove was kaput and let him decide what he wanted to do about it. Because we rent through a property management company who is terrible at maintaining anything, and when forced to repair an issue they let occur, will do so as cheaply as possible, we decided to buy our own stove. It ensures we will not be given another disgusting, mouse-poop-laden heap of junk. When we move, we will, of course, offer to leave the nearly new appliance at a discount. It will allow them to purchase a fairly new, basically unused stove, for less than half the price, which means we will have a brand new range for about half the price as well. Win, win.

While I have no plans to suddenly become a baking fanatic, I’m actually looking forward to whipping up some of the aforementioned pumpkin bread and having the pleasant smell of baked goods wafting through the rooms, now without the accompanying aroma of burning rodent pee.

Title From:
Hell’s Kitchen
by Matt King