Good Things Just Keep Comin’ Our Way

Friday afternoon, December 23rd, Brian commented that he had “just a tickle annoyance” in his throat. I probably repeated, “Are you sure you’re not feeling sick?” two dozen times, worrying that yet again we would be ill over our vacation. No, he wasn’t getting sick, he assured me repeatedly. Saturday morning, December 24th, I rolled over, smiling, ready to announce that there was just one more day until my sister and her family would open the huge box full of glitter and presents we sent, but before I could get beyond my smile, he said, “I think I might be getting sick.”

Do you ever want to face-palm another person or is that just me?

So, of course, I got sick the day after Christmas. We had prepared the best meal in years, grilled beef tenderloin with salt and pepper, glazed carrots, sage stuffing, garlic mashed potatoes, bacon-wrapped jalapeno poppers, brie stuffed mushrooms, and pecan pie. It was the best meal in years because it was just a couple weeks before Christmas when we finally decided to buy an oven thermometer and realized the reason everything had been burning was because our oven was ONE HUNDRED DEGREES HOTTER! than whatever we set it to be, which explains why I couldn’t season a cast iron pan without massive amounts of smoke. Alas, most of the leftovers ended up in the garbage because neither of us had an appetite.

I’m only just now getting my voice back, and coughing has finally stopped ripping my ribs from my body. It’s been a rough couple weeks, but it’s looking up. Tomorrow we’re going replicate some of our Christmas dinner and start the year off right, albeit a bit late.

Glitter Box Recipe:

1 can spray adhesive
1 bottle Elmer’s Glitter Glue (regular Elmer’s glue is fine) – optional
4 (or more, depending on how much you want) tubes glitter (used here: red, green, gold, and silver)
1 roll packing tape
1 box large enough to fit any gifts, plus room for packing peanuts
1 garbage bag
enough packing peanuts to fill every void

Carefully tape all open seams (sides/corners too!) with good packing tape. Trace amounts of glitter will escape the box and adhere to the tape; using a solid color tape will provide a bigger surprise. Make sure whatever tape you use is of good tackiness. You don’t want it to release at all, revealing and/or wasting your glitter.

Spray one panel of your box at a time with the spray adhesive. Immediately sprinkle with some of each color glitter. Continue until all panels, including the inside of the top panels, are completely coated in glitter.

Using the Elmer’s Glitter Glue, draw or write images, messages, etc., then immediately sprinkle with glitter. Knock any extra glitter off writings/drawings into the box. Allow glue to set.

Place packing peanuts into a garbage bag, sprinkle with remaining glitter, twist shut, and shake, shake, shake, shake.

Pour a layer of packing peanuts into the bottom of the box. Top with presents, layering packing peanuts if there are multiple items. Add remaining packing peanuts! (Try not to put TOO many packing peanuts in the bag that you can’t use them all. Most of the glitter will be at the bottom, so you’ll want to be able to dump all that inside your box.

Seal up, ship, and prepare for retaliation.

Note: Please, protect your gifts! Glitter has a way of invading every crevice. Securely wrap anything that may be harmed by the glitter with baggies or cling wrap or whatever you have that will make sure your prank doesn’t end with your PlayStation 4 Virtual Reality gift not working because glitter has made its way to the innards.

Title From:
Ragin’ Cajun Redneck Christmas
by Duck Dynasty Cast