Life’s No Fun Without a Good Scare


I finally charged my camera battery for the first time since the end of 2015. The last photographs I had taken are of a snow storm on January 4th. I wasn’t sure what all would be on the card, and I didn’t want to see Reyka’s face, so I avoided touching the camera altogether. Luckily, there were only pictures of our Christmas tree, the storm, and some flatbread we had made for dinner.

I seem to have forgotten how to take a good picture. Everything I attempted tonight came out wrong. I’m apologize. I need to start taking more again and perhaps not in the evening when things get grainy.

Wicket is growing fast. Brian built her a little temporary corral using some of our cattle panels, so she has a confined area in which to pee and poop without feeling vulnerable and frightened by the yips and howls of coyotes in the night, and so she doesn’t get carried away chasing leaves across the county. I already notice a huge change in her weight as I lug her outside every morning. Lug her I must, as well, since she’s a chaser and Muggabee’s a runner. They will likely never be buddies. C’est la vie.

She will have a buddy in Levee though, who has become so much more patient with her. There is a lot more playing than growling now, even though instances like the one pictured here are frequent. I’m sure there are some who feel we should intervene, but it’s not our place to determine the pack status between them, and no one is being hurt, despite Wicket’s sharp cries to the contrary whenever Levee decides she’s had enough lip biting. Babies will be babies. KnowwhatI’msayin’?

I can’t believe we’re already into November. I had been counting down the days to Halloween since July, and now suddenly we’re past it all. I didn’t even set Tommy out this year.

Let me find a picture of Tommy for you.

Here he is. See him there? We adopted him from Spirit Halloween in October 2010.

Now that Halloween has come and gone, it feels like Christmas is nearly over. Never mind my idiosyncrasies. This time of the year is my favorite, and I wish it could last as long as the rest of the year. Summers, on the other hand, I wish would pass as quickly as they did when I was in school.

Title From:
This Is Halloween
by Danny Elfman

Sweeter Than Heaven

At my feet, curled in a loose ball, lies a puppy named Wicket. She’s been with us since Sunday. It hasn’t been the easiest transition for Levee, who seems to enjoy her and the company she promises, but is also not fond of having her dangle from her face like a pig wattle. We’re giving her (Levee) space and the freedom to growl and snarl as needed. There have been a few snaps, followed by yips, but no harm has been done. I’m confident they’ll sort things out in a few weeks.

Progress on our home has, of course, stalled. It’s difficult to do much with such a little one running between your feet the moment you stop walking. This weekend I plan to put the second coat of paint on the living room. Then we’ll be able to move everything back in and supply the puppy with an ample amount of chewing material.

Note: I haven’t charged my camera battery since September 2015, so I don’t have any proper pictures of her yet. Enjoy these iPhone photos in the meantime.

Title From:
Drumming Song
by Florence + the Machine

His Dreams of Tomorrow Surrounded by Fences

It’s 3:30pm, and I’m only just now sitting down with my iced coffee, which I started fixing* around 8:30am. The morning was spent at my favorite store, Tractor Supply. I can walk in that store, and before I get fifteen feet inside, I’ve already found seventeen different items to buy, which I’ll try to balance while holding Levee’s leash. All stores that allow dogs are my favorite stores, but Tractor Supply is my best favorite. Ye ken?

The air conditioner for our office room, the room where I spend the most time, pooped out almost three weeks ago. Apparently there is an air conditioner season, and we are no longer in it, so finding a portable replacement unit will have to wait. It’s a beautiful day today, but for the last few weeks it’s been in the high 90s. High 90s is unbearable when the sun hits the back of the house. I don’t know if it plans to get back into the 90s, but it’s always best to be prepared. So say the Scouts, and so say I. So, while at Tractor Supply, we bought a giant wind tunnel maker and set it in the hallway where it can whip every bit of dog hair onto my desk. I don’t care about the dog hair as long as I can get up from my chair without producing a sticky thhhllloooop sound as the leather peels from my legs. I’m lying. I care about the dog hair. Random wisps of dog hair have me dramatically blowing them away like Gimli with the Oathbreaker mist. Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m talking about. You know I know you know.

We also bought an obscene amount of dog toys. It’s important to make sure she has a variety. There are toys that squeak when the squeakers are punctured, toys that float, toys that produce animal sounds when stretched, and toys that come with a magical bottle cap inside that turns all water bottles into squeakers! Does she need all these toys? Yes. Does she recognize and appreciate the differences? No. Does she carry them around, regardless of their attributes, as though it is her job to keep each beloved toy above the lava that is the ground? No. She only carries the snake. The rest are simply things she’ll grab as she makes her way around the house, looking for the snake.

Aaand, we bought cattle panels, or feedlot panels. On April 8th, 2015, I wrote about how we began repairing the barbed wire fence that was partially flattened. We did attempt to put up welded wire fencing, but we didn’t have the posts to pull it properly, so we rolled our fencing back up, and there it has stood for over a year. We started talking about our options the other day, and cattle panels came up. They aren’t cheap, but they are sturdy. We grabbed a ton of the panels, which each weigh approximately a lot, but that’s okay, because I wasn’t lifting them, along with a gate. We trucked them home in the nice rent-able utility trailer and dumped everything out by The Shed. Now, because we’re not procrastinators, we’ll get to that tomorrow. Maybe. It’s supposed to storm, and something like that could potentially set us back another year or two at least.

*Fixing, in this context, is Brian’s southern contribution to my vocabulary, ya’ll.

Title From:
The Last Cowboy Song
by Ed Bruce

If You Get Lost, You Can Always Be Found

I saw the dark, long-haired cat sitting in the middle of the back pasture. I always think of that particular cat as a female because she has an extremely long tail, which reminds me of Stitch’s, the little kitten who showed up the day after Reyka was put to sleep. His tail would swing up over his back and touch the top of his head when he was excited. I like to think of the dark, long-haired cat as his mom. She was sitting, upright and proper, in the crunchy, sun-bleached grass, staring at the house. It’s unusual to see her sitting anywhere. Normally she’s running, her body low to the ground, her long tail streaming out behind her. When I noticed her, I decided to put a can of wet food and a bowl of dry out on the porch. I knew she’d run as soon as the lock clicked but I didn’t care. If she wasn’t going to eat it, the raccoons would get it later.

I know someone out there, four years from when I post this, is going to want to tell me I shouldn’t feed raccoons. Too bad. I like raccoons and they’re not going to break into anyone’s cabin and eat their faces, so I don’t feel any worse about feeding them than I do feeding the 3,247 cats that come around.

As expected, as soon as I opened the door, she was gone. I didn’t even see a trace of her running around the barn or into the long grass of the neighboring field. Of course, I was distracted. As soon as I opened the door I realized I’d knocked Pickwick out of the way, pushing his angry, fluffed, growling body toward the stairs. Normally he’d spin around and start trying to make his way into the house, rubbing his orange fur against my black pants. This time he stayed, hunched and puffed, eyes locked on Muggabee.

Muggabee was back! It has been more than two months since I last saw him. I can’t describe my feelings upon seeing him now. I almost thought I imagined him there for a moment. For weeks and weeks, I would look out the window every time I passed by. Then, as the probability that he’d never return became more likely, I’d look every other time, then less. I never stopped looking entirely, but I did stop expecting to see him. There were nights I cried, thinking about how sick he looked, wondering if there was something I should have done. I missed him.

I’m so thankful he’s back. Hopefully he’ll be returning more often. I don’t know where he’s been but he looked so much better than the last time I saw him, albeit a bit skinnier. His fur was smooth and clean and his eyes were dry. If he doesn’t come back, at least now I know he’s likely with someone else, or at the very least, alive.

Note: The picture at the top is not Muggabee, who you can see here, it’s Stitch. Stitch was named by, and lives with, one our vet’s assistants.

Title From:
Home
by Phillip Phillips

Papaya, Papaya, Paya

This is an iPhone photo, taken very late at night to ensure maximum graininess.

I am sincerely nervous about showing the inside of our refrigerator. I really have no idea why, it’s not like there’s anything wrong with it, it’s just…private? I’m telling you, I possess some weirdness.

Moving on…

I am not a big snacker. I have never felt a desire to eat much between meals. However, I’m trying to remember to snack more, as a method of helping to keep my portion sizes down. The problem is, I’m lazy. I love strawberries, but if I’m feeling a little hungry after lunch, the idea of preparing them will often keep me from grabbing any. Preparing them means washing them, popping the leaves off, and all that strenuous effort that would require I take a nap afterward. So, I decided to order some of these adorable ceramic berry baskets, to organize our refrigerator a bit more, and make grabbing a handful of fruit a little easier.

Those perfectly over-exposed orbs in the white baskets are grapes, by the way. Also in the baskets are cherries, strawberries, and grape tomatoes. It’s been really nice to open the door, grab a handful of something healthy, and have it already washed and ready to eat. We even bought a set of grapefruit spoons, because peeling grapefruits makes me sticky and the only thing I hate more than being sticky is being stickier. It’s all about making the fruits more convenient, which is why we’ve shoved the dried fruits waaaaay in the back, where you can reach in and knock all the berries and grapes out of their baskets, as you drag the bulky bags over top. Can I interrupt myself to say how annoying I find the position of that one apricot? Speaking of apricots, I do not like them. I love them dried, but we’ve had two fresh varieties now, and both taste like nothing at all.

Even though we eat homemade meals six out of every seven days of the week, and almost all our stuff is organic, non-GMO, and fairly healthy, I feel like I could do better. I’m leaning toward going one week mostly raw vegetarian. I can’t do vegan, or completely raw, because I like milk. Could you tell? I don’t want to do it as a cleanse or a lifestyle change, I just think it might be interesting to see the effects a raw diet would have on my body.

We’ll see. The last time we tried to eliminate meat from our diet, it lasted one long, disappointing, grumpy day. I’m not sure no meat or heat is going to go much better.

Note: I did not turn the brand name side away on purpose and now that I see they’re almost all like that, I’m going to have to go rearrange things. More weirdness.

Title From:
The Naughty Lady of Shady Lane*
by Dean Martin

* I do not know if the ladies actually say “papaya,” but that’s what I hear when I listen to the song.